2021 yo!

Hellooo. What's up, I'm back. I don't even know how I got my brain to remember that this blog existed, but I figured now is a good time to make an update! It is currently spring quarter of my senior year, and it's crazy that I only have a couple weeks left of college. I am so so so excited to graduate, but also terrified at the same time. I've always said that one of my biggest fears (other than claustrophobia) is growing up, and while I am pretty grown-up already, I will finally lose the one thing I've been clinging on to that protected me from that, which was being in school. I'm finally gonna be a "grown-up" I guess, SCARY.

We're graduating... in a panoramic?!?

It's weird though because for the first time in my life, I feel so at peace with uncertainty. I have not one clue about what my life will look like starting in September 2021, and I'm ok with that. Somehow my brain has been able to reframe the situation not as "OH MY GOD I NEED TO HAVE SOMETHING LINED UP WHAT AM I DOING," to now seeing it as "Wow this is a really cool opportunity for me to do whatever I want!" It truly is a liberating feeling and I am so fortunate that I even get to have that option.

As for my career, I am hoping to go into UX/UI design (peep my portfolio), as that's what I've been working towards for the past 3 years more or less, but the usual second guessing and self doubt is hitting right around now, which is expected. Finding a job is hard work, but I've allowed myself to ride the wave and not stress out about it too much. I have enough money saved to last me for a couple months unemployed, and I want to move forward with my life and decisions with more intent.

Other updates: I am fully vaccinated. Ya boy got the 5G directly uploaded into his left arm, and I am on #TeamModerna. I didn't get any crazy side effects, and was mostly fine. My last post on here talked all about COVID, so I felt like it was appropriate to post an update. Things are starting to feel "normal" again, and I'm excited about that. While my life has changed A LOT in the past year, returning to a feeling of life before the pandemic is nice, but a little unsettling.

Pic of my fave person

Overall, I've eaten a lot of good food over the past year, learned so much about myself (and uncovered even MORE questions), and reframed (and currently reframing) what I want out of my life. I feel like there's so much I want to do and accomplish, but as for what my next step will be, that is beyond me.

In any news, I don't want to make this too long. This is a cool spot to have milestones of my journey, who knows how long I'll keep updating it, but it is cool to see that I've been posting here for 7 years. 2014 Matthew would shocked to see me now, and as for future Matthew – I've been saying this for years and it always seems to prove itself time and time again, but the best things in life are unexpected. Everything happens for a reason.

Cheers!

P.S. Fave song atm is AUTOMTIC REMIX with Jay Park and like 26 other artists, and also Just the Two of Us cover by Kauai45.

u p d a t e 2 0 2 0

I think I usually insert a random picture for these posts so here's a photo of my go-to order at Blaze (it is very yummy)

I'm back for an update y'all! Currently in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, and quaratine/shelter-in-place/stay-at-home/self-isolation has me revisiting all my old things, like this blog! Thought I would give an update on my life for my non-existent readers, but mostly for myself because I think it's fun to look back at these things.

I started journaling my freshman year of college, and have been doing it consistently ever since, and I have amassed a collection of notebooks filled with the juiciness that is my thoughts. I guess this blog post will be sort of like the journal entries I do (less juicy of course) mixed in with the current situation, as this is a major historical event we are living through.

A lot of media I have consumed related to this pandemic have used the term "unprecedented," which I find to be very fitting for these times and is my go-to word if I had to describe this situation. Everything has been happening around me, and I'm only now really starting to feel the weight and gravity of this situation, even though I have been taking it seriously. Major events have been cancelled/postponed, including big music festivals like Coachella, UCI commencement, and even the Olympics, but the one thing that happened before all of that which really opened my eyes was Disneyland closing. Yes, I work at the Happiest Place on Earth, and for a while I believed that Disney wouldn't close, and if anything it would only close for a short period of time. This was early March, and at the time all the Disney parks in Asia had already been shut down, and the world around me was still (from my perspective) normal. Disneyland has been closed for about two weeks now, with no re-opening date. Thousands of cast members (including myself) are about to be furloughed starting April 19th, but thankfully Disney will still be paying us until then. I'm looking into filing for unemployment insurance, at a time where applications are at an all time high (I think around 6 million or something like that) because so many have lost their jobs. UCI and pretty much every educational system has suspended in person classes and switched to remote learning, so I'm looking at an all online spring quarter. I'm doing fine, with my introverted-ness well suited for this type of situation of being stuck at home, but it's starting to get to me, and I can't even imagine how all the extroverts are feeling being stuck at home. I'm trying to use this time to work on myself and finally achieve the goals that I have had for YEARS—reading, cooking, fitness—and I'm making progress on some of those things, but definitely not all.

But aside from all that happening, I read through my last post on here which was around the start of spring quarter of first year, and now it's the start of spring quarter third year. So much has happened since then, and thinking and looking back at the two years in between then, so much growth and change as a person too. In those two years, I:

• changed my major (and almost got kicked out of it oop)
• went to many cool events/festivals
• hired into Extension
• hired into Disney
• grew SO much as a dancer (but also left MCIA oop)
• met a ton of amazing people

I think that the biggest thing that I've noticed though was that I've become much more comfortable and confident about myself. Not to say that I'm like super confident, because I am still insecure about a lot of things, but comparing my mindset/mentality now to Matthew from 2018, it's a HUGE difference in my eyes.

I guess my goal for this post is just to reflect, and to look forward. I feel like I'm in a good place right now mentally, and I want to remind myself of where my mind is at right now so that if Matthew from the future reads this and needs some MILK, he can get some. My favorite quote/idea/word-to-live by/idk-what-else-to-call-it is that the best things in life are unexpected. Truly, truly, truly, some of the best things that have happened to me over the past two years have been unexpected. It's hard to have this mindset since it requires you to basically abandon all expectations that you have about something or someone and just let the world run its course, but everything will fall into place. I still struggle with this, but Matthew-from-the-future, if you're having a tough time right now, just remember these things. Everything will be alright, keep ya head up!

This was longer than I expected, but it felt good to just type it all out. There are so many more things I look forward to in my future and so many aspects of my life that I want to work on and improve, I really hope I can pull it together to achieve the goals I set out for myself. Anyways, see ya when I see ya!

P.S. Please listen to this beautiful song because I lov it sm and it make me cri everytim

Wow!

It's been almost a year since my last post! I am now in college, about to start spring quarter at UC Irvine. The past 6 months have been such a blur... so much has happened. Things that I couldn't have predicted -- both good and bad. Overall I'm loving college life and I can't wait to go back! (I'm on spring break right now) Anyways I'm just super bored right now, that's why I decided to revisit this blog. I'm having one of those mini existential crises that I get every once in a while, no biggie. We'll see if I continue to update this, who knows! Before I go, check out my dance team's website and watch our videos on Youtube! I know right, I'm on a dance team now! What?!? College is wild. Enjoy your day!

Sup Y'all!

I'm super bored in engineering right now. Maybe I'll take you through the daily routines in 4th period.

So you walk into class then log into the computer. Ok great. Now just sit there for an hour (or an hour and a half if its block) until the bell rings. Or you can sit through a boring ass video about trains/bridges/dams until someone takes your phone away. Now that the video is over, browse through reddit and look for the dankest memes. Then procrastinate until the school year is over because let's be real here... this is next week's problem. Ok I guess I gotta do work now. Until next time~

After 2 years... I'm back.

yOu mIsseD mE?

I started this blog back as a chemistry assignment back in 2014. Now that I'm a senior, I want to find that spark I had for writing when I wrote my first post. With less than 10 days until I walk the stage, I want this blog to be a memory of all the fun and wild times I had in sophomore year chemistry.*

Right now I'm sitting in Mr. Jackson's class where we are supposed to be writing our senior speeches. Obviously, I'm not doing that right now, but I wanted to revisit this blog and see all the weird things I wrote before. Hopefully I can successfully export this blog to my main account using Google Takeout, but we'll see. I wish to continue this blog in the future and maybe become a famous blogger/youtuber, but who knows where the future will take us. Talk to you soon.

Matthew

*Shoutout to Jonathan, Max, Michelle, Kimmy, and Darren

My Favorite Class (other than Chemistry)

My favorite class other than chemistry is English because I like to work on my writing and improve it, expecially since writing is integral in common core.

Course Information Day

The first session I went to today was AP U.S. History. It was cool to come back to a teacher that I have had before and it made me reminisce of freshman year. History is not my best subject but I enjoy it. I think that taking this class would prepare me to take the AP Exam in May. Also lees cost for college blah blah ya.

The second session I went to was AP Biology. It was cool to see what AP bio is like, which includes a lot of work and passion for science. I will probably no take this class next year as I don't think I'm ready for the challenges and rigor of AP Bio.

The last session I went to was AP Calculus BC. I really don't know why I went here because I am currently in Algebra 3-4 and I am not yet prepared for Calculus. I learned a lot, especially about how hard math is. There are so many things to know, including graphing polynomials, limits, and the Unit Circle. I will not be taking this class because it is too hard and goes a at very fast pace.