2021 yo!

Hellooo. What's up, I'm back. I don't even know how I got my brain to remember that this blog existed, but I figured now is a good time to make an update! It is currently spring quarter of my senior year, and it's crazy that I only have a couple weeks left of college. I am so so so excited to graduate, but also terrified at the same time. I've always said that one of my biggest fears (other than claustrophobia) is growing up, and while I am pretty grown-up already, I will finally lose the one thing I've been clinging on to that protected me from that, which was being in school. I'm finally gonna be a "grown-up" I guess, SCARY.

We're graduating... in a panoramic?!?

It's weird though because for the first time in my life, I feel so at peace with uncertainty. I have not one clue about what my life will look like starting in September 2021, and I'm ok with that. Somehow my brain has been able to reframe the situation not as "OH MY GOD I NEED TO HAVE SOMETHING LINED UP WHAT AM I DOING," to now seeing it as "Wow this is a really cool opportunity for me to do whatever I want!" It truly is a liberating feeling and I am so fortunate that I even get to have that option.

As for my career, I am hoping to go into UX/UI design (peep my portfolio), as that's what I've been working towards for the past 3 years more or less, but the usual second guessing and self doubt is hitting right around now, which is expected. Finding a job is hard work, but I've allowed myself to ride the wave and not stress out about it too much. I have enough money saved to last me for a couple months unemployed, and I want to move forward with my life and decisions with more intent.

Other updates: I am fully vaccinated. Ya boy got the 5G directly uploaded into his left arm, and I am on #TeamModerna. I didn't get any crazy side effects, and was mostly fine. My last post on here talked all about COVID, so I felt like it was appropriate to post an update. Things are starting to feel "normal" again, and I'm excited about that. While my life has changed A LOT in the past year, returning to a feeling of life before the pandemic is nice, but a little unsettling.

Pic of my fave person

Overall, I've eaten a lot of good food over the past year, learned so much about myself (and uncovered even MORE questions), and reframed (and currently reframing) what I want out of my life. I feel like there's so much I want to do and accomplish, but as for what my next step will be, that is beyond me.

In any news, I don't want to make this too long. This is a cool spot to have milestones of my journey, who knows how long I'll keep updating it, but it is cool to see that I've been posting here for 7 years. 2014 Matthew would shocked to see me now, and as for future Matthew – I've been saying this for years and it always seems to prove itself time and time again, but the best things in life are unexpected. Everything happens for a reason.

Cheers!

P.S. Fave song atm is AUTOMTIC REMIX with Jay Park and like 26 other artists, and also Just the Two of Us cover by Kauai45.